Not This Year
by Silas C
Summary: Haruka is not one to enjoy the winter season with memories haunting her every dream. Can she survive this Christmas or fall victim to it? Challenge for Ten no Kasou. [Complete]
1. Chapter 1

Not This Year

-for-

Ten no Kasou

Chapter One: Michiru's Secret

* * *

My note: Before I start, I want to say that I'm not trying to ignore the rest of my fics, as I'm heading over to update them now. However, I received this challenge and decided that since it was a Christmas fic, that I should finish it for the holiday. This fic, of course, is entirely dedicated to Ten no Kasou.

* * *

It was December and, as December had always been, it was crazy, hectic but more than anything it was a loving holiday. It was the perfect time of year for all families to come together and celebrate the meaning of Christmas.

Michiru knew this year would be the same as the last. It wasn't but six months ago that she met the blonde friend of hers. Ever since then her life had changed. There was so much she learned, so much that she appreciated within their friendship. So much she had gained without meaning to. Haruka had taught her the meaning of life, love and happiness. Simply put, the world meant nothing to her without the blonde.

That thought had been running through her mind lately. It was the truth, it wasn't worth living if Haruka wasn't there. But for Michiru to feel so attached to a person, what could it have meant? No one could come close to the affection she held for Haruka. And, while the blonde had the tendency to flirt a lot, Michiru knew that the blonde cared most about her. She could tell by the little things that Haruka would do; things that Haruka didn't know for other people, only her.

In six months, Haruka had shaped her heart. In six months, Michiru had witnessed how much one person could affect her life. Michiru remembered how the blonde would hold her hand as if she would never let it go. Memories of Haruka's constant affection, encouragement, friendship, faith, flooded her mind.

Michiru wouldn't deny it. She loved the tall, quirky, charming blonde. There wasn't a quality or trait that she didn't love about Haruka. But she could never bring herself to confess to this unrequited love; instead, she continued to watch Haruka from afar and from up close. Just about every girl that knew Haruka was jealous of Michiru, this much she knew because of how much they hated her. She remembered when the girls would pick on her because Haruka would pick her up, eat lunch with her, go to her violin practices, visit her art exhibits or anything else that was somehow related to her. They were jealous because, even as much as Haruka would flirt with them, it was the small things that Haruka had done for Michiru that made them green in the face. Michiru laughed and then sighed as she reminisced of all the good times they had shared together.

"Ah, my little mermaid." Michiru felt a large jacket placed over her shoulders and a sudden rush of warmth soothe her cold body. "You shouldn't go out in the snow without a jacket."

"Hai, I know." Michiru admitted, happy to see the person of her thoughts had arrived. "How is your Christmas shopping going?" Michiru felt her heart sink when she noticed Haruka's downcast expression. She shouldn't have mentioned the topic; every time they discussed the holiday, Haruka would become sick with depression.

"Not well." Haruka spoke softly. "You're so hard to shop for." The blonde replaced her sadness with a false happiness but Michiru recognized the fact that Haruka didn't want her to know so she left the subject alone. "I tried to think of what to get you… and when I did, I realized it was a bad idea."

"Any gift from you is a generous thought. I would never ask for anything from you."

"That's what makes this so tough. I was thinking of getting you cosmetics. I heard from a reliable source…" Haruka winked.

'_Usagi…' _Michiru giggled at the thought of Usagi blabbing her mouth off.

"… that you liked cosmetics."

'_Oh? Not bad. She's been doing some research on me.' _

"But I had to disagree with cosmetics. I don't think they would make you look prettier, they would hide the true allure that only Michiru Kaioh possesses." Haruka made a funny pose as she tried to illustrate Michiru's radiant beauty.

"Hmm… sounds like a line you use on a lot of girls." Michiru threw Haruka an 'I caught you look' which merited a smile from her friend.

"Not a lot. Only a few." Haruka went back to walking alongside her friend. Michiru waited in silence for the answer she wanted to hear. "Okay, okay. Maybe it was more than a few… maybe … it was a lot…or maybe a lot more than a lot." Haruka grinned as she nudged the aqua-haired friend of mine. "But it doesn't matter how many times I've said it; it only matters that when I said it to you, that I meant it."

Michiru bit her lip. She hated pretending as if they were a couple. Not that they did, but Haruka openly flirted with her. To a lot of their friends, they too thought they were a couple. But even as if was, Michiru had yet to act on the relationship that she ultimately desired. Was it her fault for loving Haruka? Or was it Haruka's fault for flirting with her?

"Sure, sure. Save the flirting for girls that can be seduced by you."

Haruka laughed. "Ah, Michiru, you truly are my match. I have never met someone who could resist me as much as you have. And that's not to say that I've tried to come on to you, but your persistence gets me feeling defeated most of the time."

"Well, you're not supposed to seduce your friends. There's a reason that you call them friends and not lovers." Michiru stopped walking when she noticed Haruka had stopped at a shop, peering inside the window. Michiru found that Haruka had laid eyes upon a very, very, pretty snow globe. For quite some time, the aqua-haired girl watched her friend intently, leaving her to her own thoughts.

**---- Flashback ----**

"_So, Haruka have you made any progress yet? You can pick out any gift you want for any friend that you might have. Just think wisely about your choice." A tall, man with light brown hair beamed down upon his daughter. "Christmas is supposed to be special." _

_Haruka nodded. "Papa, I think I have the right present." _

"_Already?" Haruka's father laughed wholeheartedly. "Well…" He peeked around her back, noticing that she was hiding something. "What is it? Show me." Haruka pulled out a small, beautiful snow globe. "Oh, that's wonderful. Who is it for?" _

"_Mommy." Haruka's father lifted his head in confusion, at the news. He wasn't sure what to say, nor did he try to hide the fact that he was speechless. "Mommy always said she wanted to dance in the snow. Don't you think this looks like mommy?" Haruka pointed to the small female figurine on the inside of the tiny globe. "And…" Haruka shook the globe a few times. "now she can always dance in the snow." She handed the gift over to her father. "She can dance even when it's not Christmas." Haruka looked down at the floor, or more so towards her feet. She could never pick out presents but this one, was one she wanted to get. _

"_Haruka…" The man started only to find that he had nothing to say. _

"_Mommy would like it, don't you think?" _

"_Hai… she would. But Haruka, there'd be no way to get this present to mommy… she's too far from us now." He replied with a heartbreaking tone. _

"_How far?"_

"_Heaven is certainly far enough that we can't reach it." _

"_Then let's take a plane." _

"_Haruka, it doesn't work like that." _

"_But you said it was in the clouds! I've seen planes go into the clouds!" _

"_There aren't any planes that go to Heaven." _

"_Then we can buy a plane." _

"_Haruka stop." The older man stated. This was clearly going nowhere. "We can't buy a plane or fly in one to get to the clouds. For now, we can't bring mommy a Christmas present. All we can do is think of mommy and she'll be with us, always." Haruka's father pried the snow globe from his daughter's hands and took the small one into his own. "I think it's time to go now. It's getting late. We'll go shopping another time, okay?" Haruka nodded, feeling as if she had done something wrong. All she wanted to do was get her mother a Christmas present. _

**---- End of Flashback ----**

Haruka took a look at her watch. "You know what, I've got to go pick up Usagi. I completely forgot about that. I'll meet you at your house. Okay?"

Michiru was reluctant to allow the blonde to leave her. She had spent most of her day, busy with preparations, that she was dying for a simple moment, where she have a quiet conversation with Haruka. That's all she desired. None of the rest had mattered; just a moment with Haruka. _'No, this is perfect.' _Michiru thought as her eyes made their way to the window of the stop both of them had been looking in. _'I can finally shop for Haruka's Christmas present.' _

"Hai, try not to flirt with her as much this time." Michiru joked, but inside she meant every word.

"Of course not. I'll tone it down just for you. I'll only flirt a little." Haruka winked happy to feel her mood lighten up drastically, but she knew that would all change once the aqua-haired girl left.

"Trouble maker." Michiru mumbled to the blonde as they parted. At last, she would have a chance to shop. It was so close to Christmas that it wasn't best to put off the shopping any longer. "At least the one thing I want to get Haruka, obviously hasn't been--" Michiru's eyes widened when she noticed a woman had just bought the snow globe that Haruka had been staring at. Michiru walked into the store and approached the man at the counter. "Sir, I was wondering if you point me in the direction of where that snow globe in the window might me." The man blushed hard, though Michiru wasn't sure why. She was only interested in the snow globe.

"I'm sorry, that lady has taken the last one."


	2. Chapter 2

**"Not This Year"**

-for-

Ten no Kasou

_Chapter Two: Haruka's Secret_

* * *

Michiru felt her heart beat faster. She had to get this snow globe, there was no way she couldn't get it. Once look into Haruka's eyes gave her every bit of inspiration to hunt down the lady that bought the last snow globe. Michiru took off out the door, scouting the crowd of people to find the right woman. _'There she is!' _Michiru ran, despite the fact that doing so was absurd but also extremely cold. _'Hai, but Haruka deserves to have this snow globe.'_

"Excuse me, miss…" Michiru placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, surprised at the jitteriness the woman had. She giggled when the woman looked at her bewildered. "I saw you buy that snow globe in there."

"Oh, that's right." The woman responded, clearly not understanding why she had been stopped.

"Well, it's long story. But, I really need to buy that snow globe off of you. It's the last one and I don't have any other choice." Michiru hadn't reach the point of pleading but if she had to she would.

"Sorry to disappoint you but this snow globe is for someone special. I can't give this gift away." The woman began to turn but felt that she had been pulled back the second time. "I'm not interested, I'm sorry."

"Please." Michiru knew that she was desperate to have this globe. There wasn't anything that would stop her from having it. After all, it was the exact one Haruka had been watching intently. She couldn't let this girl walk away with the gift Haruka had wanted. "I'll give you anything, you name your price."

"Like I said, completely uninterested." The woman replied after looking Michiru over carefully. At least she had considered the proposition and that only meant good news for Michiru.

"Wait. You don't understand. I'm willing to work with anything."

The other woman let out a sigh as she began to look over Michiru yet again. This time she found something that had caught her eye. "Is that the Rose Ring created in 1976?"

Michiru glanced at the ring on her finger. "Hai." She replied sadly.

"Well then. I'll strike a deal with you. My mother has always wanted one of those. I'll trade you the snow globe for the ring."

'_The ring is worth nearly 1,000 times that of the snow globe.' _Michiru took the snow globe in her palm, weighing the amount of interest Haruka held for the small trinket. _'Not only that, it's the only thing left to remind me of my mother. It's the only thing of hers that was passed down to me.' _Michiru bit her lip as she pulled the ring from her finger. _'This ring has come to mean so much to me. More than I could possibly imagine… but… Haruka is worth even more.' _

"Here." Michiru handed over her ring, keeping the snow globe in her palm.

"You fool! This item is priceless. I'll be rich by selling it!"

"If that's how you desire to enjoy such a beautiful thing, then I will not stop you. Thank you for the trade." Michiru clenched the small snow globe in her hand. She had done more than trade, she had released quite a few things by relinquishing the ownership of her most prized possession. _'But what would it matter? To bring a smile to Haruka's face, as she is always doing for me, would be the best Christmas present I could think of.' _

* * *

It was colder than she thought it would be. Haruka shoved her hands into her pocket, finding some warmth and consolation from the frosty snow and bitter wind. It was only two weeks into December and she couldn't help but feel like she came unprepared for this month. But alas, it was like that every December of every year. Of course, she was strong enough to cope with the past thirteen years but… to endure this month was absolutely painful. It took everything in her to try and forget._ 'But how could I forget?'_

Haruka's eyes turned away from the many people walking on the desolate streets. It was as if the weather hadn't phased their untouchable delight and happiness. She envied their bliss and their love for each other. But naturally, they had families and she didn't, that's what made the difference. Could she blame them for being happy? _'Of course not.' _They had every right to act as they did, to be exultant as they were. But why then, did it seem as though some higher being chose to torture her, as if she wasn't already tortured enough?

December was the epitome of pain. To live every day of the year's last month, was to live every day being haunted by memories that she wished she would have forgotten. And it was these memories, inspired by things that she had seen, that plagued her incessantly with no hope of relief until January came. And then she would spend the rest of the next year, anxious for December to pass, no matter how far away it was.

Her life was nothing more than a routine of anticipation and despair. Haruka allowed the snowflakes to fall freely on her. She could care less if she caught a cold and died. Then maybe her life wouldn't be so habitual and maybe she wouldn't have to live in pain at the thought of Christmas nearing.

Haruka glanced down at the package in her hand. There was little she wanted to do with the box she had been holding. But she couldn't help but feel guilty at the thought of choosing not to send out her cards. Her father used to send them out every Christmas, with love, with glitter, with stickers. They would decorate each one and spend a lot of time doing so. Everyone could feel the love emanating from their masterpieces and would nearly jump in joy when they received them in the mail.

'_Christmas cards…' _

And now? Now they weren't nearly as important as they were to her then. Now they were simply a tradition. A tradition that had gone cold, a tradition that had been desiccated for quite some time now. So what was the point? Even she was unsure. A part of her wanted to quit sending them. A part of her felt like they were the only things binding her to her father anymore, besides her memories, which were more of a burden than anything else. If she refused to send out the cards, she refused to remember her father.

'_Would that be so bad? Then maybe I might be able to enjoy my Christmas.' _Haruka bit her lip. She would give anything to lose the recollection she had of her parents. She would give anything to forget her past. Normally she would run. She would run far where she was and, in doing so, she would run from her past. There was no way she would be caught and forced to confront her past. There were simply not enough tears to face up to reality; she was forced to live her life running away.

There were several times she thought of opening up to someone, mainly to Michiru. It would have been much easier to bear if someone acknowledged her pain. They wouldn't have to do much except recognize the pain she gave refuge to. Often times she hoped that someone would simply know. It hurt to feel like she was alone but it hurt even more that none of her friends had ever realized that she hated Christmas, December and anything that reminded her of those two things.

And yet… she couldn't deny that thus far, her season hadn't been completely dampened. She always had Michiru and that meant quite a lot to the blonde. It was with Michiru's smiles and kind words that Haruka was able to find a sort of inner peace. A peace that allowed her to at least 'try' to enjoy the season.

"Haruka?"

The blonde stopped in the middle of a step. "Ah, buns-head. I'm glad to see you. I've been circling this area at least a few times already. Are you ready to head out?"

"Hai… but… Haruka…" Usagi blushed.

"Yes?" Haruka looked back, finding a solid Usagi, unmoving in the harsh weather.

"I'm frozen."

Haruka laughed for a moment but then discontinued her fun when she realized that Usagi was being completely and totally serious. "I see. My dear buns-head, what would life be like without you?" Haruka helped a pained Usagi into her convertible and turned on the heater. "You'll warm up soon enough." Haruka assured her friend as she put on her seat belt. Haruka placed Usagi's hands near the vents, making the smaller blonde go red in the face. She wasn't use to being this intimate with Haruka, it often caused her to blush profusely as a result.

"So… uh… Haruka… how is Michiru doing?" Usagi decided to change the subject to avoid the attention she knew she was sure to receive.

"Well, as always." Haruka had a hint of adoration in her voice; it made her sound more genuine than most people could ever dream of sounding. "I'm pleased with her idea to have a large Christmas event for all of us."

"It was sweet." Usagi agreed. "Oh, what are those?" Usagi asked after seeing a box wrapped with a grocery bag. She was lit with excitement.

Haruka's pleasant expression faded quickly when she glanced down at the box. "These are Christmas cards." She whispered, almost inaudibly.

"You should get those out as soon as possible! It's getting close to Christmas. You don't want the cards to come late do you?"

"Of course not." Haruka weakly smiled at her friend, who displayed much concern for a package that she didn't display the same concern for.

"Then you should do them tonight. We have some time before the dinner. When we stop by place to get some clothes, we can just do them there. What do you think?" Usagi asked.

'_Might not be a bad idea.' _"I think that you make the most brilliant plans." _'Christmas cards…'_ Haruka smiled down at Usagi, who blushed in return. Haruka had always had a way of making her melt on the inside.

After their discussion, Usagi sat in silence with the blonde. Normally, she wasn't used to the blonde being so quiet. When she looked over at her tall friend, she noticed that there was a sad expression on her face.

**---Flash back---**

"_Dad. Jinsei is on the phone." Haruka covered the phone so that the man on the other line didn't have to hear their conversation. _

"_Your uncle?" _

"_Hai." Haruka replied. "He wants to know if we would like to go over to his place for Christmas. Everyone is getting together." The thought of going to see the blonde's other side of the family was one that brightened her mood. She had never been real close to her mother's side of the family, though they loved her very much._

"_You're 15." Her father stated. "You're old enough to decide for yourself what you want to do." _

_Haruka's happiness dissipated in a matter of seconds. "He has invited both of us, not just me." _

_Haruka's father laughed maliciously. "I'm sure they want to be warm during the holiday season but you know they think it's my fault." _

"_No they don't. They want to spend time with their family. Why can't you ever agree to come with me?" Haruka was hurt that her father still acted this way after so many years. "Dad, please." The blonde was pleading._

"_I'm not going. Do as you wish for Christmas." Haruka's father got up and headed to his room. _

_Angered by the lack of consideration he had and how selfish he was, Haruka dropped the phone and ran over to him. She took him by the arm firmly. "Dad you need to--" _

_Haruka's father pushed her back into the wall. He had a bewildered expression on his face. Haruka gritted her teeth but her anger dissolute when she realized that he wasn't angry, nor inconsiderate, he was overwhelmed with grief. _

"_Don't touch me Haruka. You would never understand." He growled. When he knew that she wouldn't touch him again, he walked into his room and slammed the door. _

_The blonde watched the door for quite some time. There wasn't much she could change about her past. She was much too young to remember how it all happened. All she knew was that she too, felt the same pain he felt, around Christmas. Haruka trudged over to the phone, she would have to give the results of her decision to Jinsei. _

"_Jinsei, go ahead without us. We already promised a friend that we would head over there. If we have some spare time, we will try to make it over to your celebration." Haruka waited for an answer and was relieved that her uncle didn't take it too hard. "Hai, you have a good Christmas too." Haruka hung up the phone as her eyes averted over to her now-closed father's door. 'Yes, you have a good Christmas… because I know we won't.'_

**---End of flashback---**

'_I wonder if there's something on her mind that she's bothered about?' _Usagi thought after at least a good five minutes of Haruka not saying anything. _'Oh! I know I'll ask about their love lives.' _

"How is her love life going?"

Haruka became uncomfortable with that question. _'How would I know?' _The blonde asked herself with bitterness. _'Michiru has always been vague as to who she liked… but she sure likes to flirt a lot.' _

"Haruka…" Usagi waved a hand in front of her face. "What's the matter?"

'_Baka, Haruka. Now she's going to be nosy.' _"Nothing. I am also, curious as to who she likes."

"Oh." Usagi's concern was replaced with a smile. "I know someone that might like her." The smaller girl waited in anticipation for Haruka to ask her who, but the blonde seemed to blow the comment off. _'She doesn't seem to like this subject. I wonder why?' _"So, have you found anyone special yet?" Usagi questioned, excited to hear the answer.

"No." Haruka admitted with hesitance.

"What's that mean?" Usagi was confused.

"It means…"_ 'What does it mean?' _An image of Michiru passed through her mind. "I'm not sure." Haruka sighed. _'What's the harm in telling her… you might feel better with a confession.' "_It means that found someone to hold my hand like they would never let it go, it means that I found someone that I found no flaw within, it means that I found someone that I could spend the rest of my life with."

"Aww." Usagi melted at Haruka's words. How could someone be so romantic and at the same time, sound so charismatic? "What's her name?"

"Her name isn't important. I would give my heart to her freely, I would give my life for her freely but most of all, I would give the world to see her smile." Haruka smirked at that thought.

"Have you told her this?"

"No." '_Of course not. How could I tell her?' _"I don't think she would return the feelings."

"How do you know?"

"She's a good friend." Haruka admitted, knowing that Usagi would figure out who she was talking about eventually. But, she wasn't sure if that was a good or bad thing.

'_A good friend… who she would give her life for… is she talking about… Michiru?' _"How do you know that she wouldn't return the feelings?"

"A lot of people like her. A lot people adore her and hold affection for her. And for as much as they give her, she turns them down effortlessly. I, on the other hand, don't come close to showing her how much I care for her… don't you see that she would turn me down… those others had so much to offer. Most of them were famous, rich and handsome too."

"And you aren't none of those?" Usagi asked honestly.

Haruka laughed at her innocence. "Thanks for thinking of me with such high esteem. But, I'm not a man."

"So? Love knows no boundaries. I might try to get my friends to think about guys a lot but I would perfectly fine if they found love in a girl." Usagi blushed. "Hey, if it wasn't for Mamoru… I might have had a BIG crush on you. And I'm sure all of the other girls have, in some way, found something attractive about you. If anything Haruka, you are way better than any of the other suitors that have tried to take her hand."

Usagi always had this way of speaking her heart. When she did, Haruka knew that she wasn't lying. That's why she liked Usagi, even if she was a ditz. "Thanks Usagi but I don't think it would work out." Haruka replied, this time with a hint of disappointment in her voice. If only Usagi knew how disappointed she was… "Anyways, we're here. Are your parents home?"

"Nope. We'll be able to get things done faster that way… but no cookies…" Usagi pouted and Haruka laughed.

* * *


	3. Chapter 3

**Not This Year**

-for-

Ten no Kasou

_Chapter Three: Forgotten Meaning_

* * *

Haruka sighed as she filled out the last card on her list. All that was left was to place them in the envelopes and send them off. Her eyes inspected every inch of every card and it suddenly hit her: these cards held absolutely no meaning. Was she wrong to even try to imitate the tradition her family had upheld for years?

_**This Christmas card is contrived  
A mannequin looks more alive**_

_**Haven't meant a word I've written here  
The page is full not one thing sincere**_

"Finished?" Usagi asked as she walked into the living room. Haruka only nodded, gathering her things. "Nice job! Right on time too! I wish I could be like you." Usagi admired Haruka from afar.

'_No you don't, Usagi. No, you don't.' _"Hai, we have to get going." _'Michiru is going to kill me if I'm late.' _Haruka glanced at her watch and winked. "We don't want all the food gone before we get there."

"No! That would be a horrible thing." Usagi had an angered look on her face as she stormed out of her house, Haruka in pursuit.

**  
_I can't, I can't  
I can't, I can't take it_**

The whole ride to Michiru's house was in complete and total silence. It was never in the tall blonde's nature to be so quiet that it could seem like she was being rude, but she couldn't help it. There were too many things on her mind that she couldn't stop from thinking about. All she knew was that she had to improve her mood before she got to the dinner; it would be rude to walk in without the cheer that everyone else maintained.

When Haruka had pulled up to the house, she stopped the engine and simply looked at her steering wheel. Usagi didn't dare move or even try to get out. It was her duty as a friend to help Haruka but she couldn't think of anything brilliant that would help the other blonde.

"Hey." Usagi touched Haruka's hand lightly. "Is everything okay?"

'_Baka! You did it again.' _Haruka forced herself to laugh. "Of course. I was thinking of what I was going to get Michiru for Christmas. It's just about around the corner… you know…"

"Hmm…" Usagi nodded, though she felt as though she was being lied to. _'Maybe it's too much for her to talk about. I'll just have a talk with Michiru later. If anyone will know what's wrong… Michiru will.' _"Oh, well I guess that could cause someone to be thrown into a strange trance. Come on! Food is waiting for us."

**This is the time to smile,  
I can't fake it  
Please allow me the chance now  
To break it down**

Haruka hopped out of the car. This was harder than she thought it would be. She smoothened out her suit as if it would help her get rid of the anxiety she was feeling. _'I don't want to go in there…' _Haruka couldn't remember the last time she celebrated Christmas with anyone but her father. And now? Now even that was impossible. The blonde bit her tongue to hold back from releasing tears. _'Tenoh, don't you dare cry! Everyone else is going to be happy. At least return the happiness, even if you have to fake it.' _

"Usagi!" Mamoru embraced his girlfriend when he opened the door. "You guys are a bit late…" Mamoru glared at Usagi.

"No, no." Haruka stepped in, with a smile on her face. She would hate to see Usagi take the blame for being late. It was her Christmas cards that had caused them to arrive later than planned. "It was all my fault."

"Ah, good then." Mamoru grinned. "You can be the one to take Michiru's anger."

"Is she mad?"

"Somewhat…" Mamoru admitted. "Well, come in. Standing out here won't solve our problem."

'_This is perfect. Start out the holidays by making Michiru mad.' _Haruka didn't know what was worse. Spending the holidays alone or spending them with a very irate Michiru. _'Spending them alone.' _Haruka finally decided as she stepped in the door. Everyone greeted her by either hugging her or in some way, shape or form, physically touching her. It alleviated some of Haruka's tension but it still wasn't enough.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer**

**-----Flash Back-----**

"_Look at all those people. Celebrating Christmas." _

"_Well, it is December, dad." Haruka replied. _

"_That's not what I mean. Look at them. All of them are happy. It's not normal. Sometimes I wish I had a different family, one like theirs. One that enjoyed Christmas." _

_Haruka felt the words sting. "How could you say that?" She practically flipped out. "Our family was perfect! And then you messed it all up!" Haruka began to escalate the level of her voice, bringing the attention to her. "You were the one that killed her. You couldn't be responsible! You want all of that? You can't because you're the _one _that took all of that away from us! You took mother's life and you've drained my life. What more could you want?!" Haruka pushed her father into a car that had been parked next to the street. "What more could you want!?" Haruka felt tears fell down the side of her cheek. _

"_I-- I--" Haruka's father stuttered. _

"_Don't give me that! You took away my childhood! You took away mom, you took away our family. And yet, you sit her and wallow in self pity!" Haruka pushed her father against the car once again. He tried to hug her. He wanted to make her pain go away but she had enough. "I hate you!! You took everything away from me. No one feels sorry for you because you did kill her. You couldn't drive being sober, could you?" Again, Haruka found herself pushing her father into the car. "You couldn't!" Finally, Haruka walked away. She was done with the conversation. There was nothing left she could say to him; nothing that would matter anyways. _

_The walk home was harsh. Haruka felt the cold snow reshaping her thoughts. She knew she had been way too ruthless with her father's emotions. And while he always tried to play these games, she couldn't blame him for how much suffering he had to endure. Needless to say, she was ready to apologize because she knew that she had been a complete jerk about the situation. _

"_Dad --" Haruka opened the door and stopped when she had walked in. "Dad?" Haruka felt her knees get weak as she hit the floor. The sight before her was enough to cause her breathing to become erratic and she felt like she was losing her breath. 'What have I done?' Haruka closed her eyes, succumbing to absolute darkness._

----

"_Well hi there, Haruka." Haruka opened her eyes, confused as to where she was. Standing next to her was a man in a white suit and for some reason, she got the feeling that she was in a hospital. "I'm glad to see that you're awake." _

"_Where's my --" Haruka felt a hand on her shoulder. _

"_Don't worry yourself with anything, not now. It might be better to--" _

"_Where's my dad?" Haruka tried to get up but was surprised to feel the doctor try to hold her down. "Answer me! Where is he?" _

"_Haruka, stop!" The doctor struggled to keep the blonde at bay. "Do you really want to know?" _

"_YES!" Haruka wanted to throw the idiot of a doctor off of her. That's when she noticed other nurses and doctors come in to help with the situation. "Tell me where he is."  
_

"_He's gone!" The doctor finally yelped, pulling away from the grip of Haruka. "When he recovered from the cuts, he took his things and left." _

"_Left?" Haruka couldn't believe the words she was hearing. "Why would he leave?" _

"_I don't know. He didn't say where he was going. He simply left." The doctor motioned for his help to leave the room. "Haruka, I need to ask your age." _

"_18." Haruka replied, dumbfounded. _

"_Well, you're old enough to be on your own. You should start thinking of how you're going to take care of yourself." _

**----- End of Flash Back -----**

**Not this year**

Haruka remembered all too well how Christmas went every year and being surrounded by people who loved her was something she hadn't experienced before. There were tears of happiness she wish she could have shed. Then again, she was sure it would best if she didn't show so much excitement - she might give off the impression that she is falsely happy. Haruka sighed inwardly. _'It feels like I'm walking on egg shells.' _Maybe she could, for the sake of the others, pretend to be happy. _'Yeah, that's it. I'll just pretend to be happy and hopefully I'll get through the night okay.' _After all, it didn't seem fair for her to ruin their Christmas with her memories.

The blonde faked a few smiles, laughed one too many times and suddenly she became self-conscious as to what the others were thinking of her. Normally she never felt this way, normally she controlled the situation, but today… today she didn't control anything. No, instead, she was victim of the memories that haunted her. _'I can't do this. I have to get out of here.' _

**Not this year**

Haruka glanced at the door a few times, hoping Mamoru wouldn't stand so close to it. _'He's not going to move.' _Haruka looked up the stairs to the second floor of Michiru's house and decided that was her next best place. _'I better go before I trouble them.' _Haruka found a few moments to sneak out and hurry up the stairs.

**Not this year**

After a walk on egg shells with her friends, Haruka found the upstairs bathroom to be just as she wanted it to be: empty. The blonde stood in front of the mirror, unwilling to admit that she was a total wreck.

**When I look into the mirror  
No happiness is present here  
Not supposed to whine,  
Not supposed to cry  
Try to hold it in, but not this time**

'_Quit being a child, Haruka. You can do this.' _Haruka tried to make herself look less like a wreck and more like herself. "I can do this." The blonde looked in front of the mirror, talking to herself. If anything helped to get over sadness, it was to laugh. But even so - she couldn't laugh - all she could think of was Michiru. There was something about thinking of her that put Haruka's mind to rest. She was sure if she found Michiru that they could talk. Couldn't they?

**I can't, I can't  
I can't, I can't take it**

**This is the time to smile,  
I can't fake it**

They had to talk. It felt like she was holding the weight of the world on her shoulders. There wasn't anyone else she could run to and not feel guilty for doing so. She hated relying on people but Michiru wasn't the same as everyone else. Michiru would help her and if she couldn't, she would at least listen. _'Right?' _

**Please allow me the chance now  
To break it down**

"Mamoru, where is Michiru?" Haruka asked when she went back downstairs. "Is she in the kitchen?"

"No, right before you came she went to her room to get ready. I can only imagine she's still up there."

Haruka laughed to herself. In the half an hour that she had arrived she had expected Michiru to come out of the kitchen to meet her… but she knew why she hadn't now… _'Always got to look pretty…' _Haruka practically ran up the stairs, checking all of the rooms but being cautious in doing so… she wouldn't want to walk in on Michiru changing… _'Or maybe I want to but only with her permission.' _Haruka grinned again. She was relieved to see that thinking of Michiru was already having an effect on her mood.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer**

"Michiru?" Haruka had walked into the right room but was entirely surprised to see what she saw. "Michiru?" This time she whispered, inaudibly. From across the room, it looked as if the smaller girl was crying. Without having time to think of the situation, Haruka ran to her side and pulled her into her own arms. The blonde didn't need words to tell her that Michiru had been crying, the quiet sobs of Michiru were enough.

**Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year**

There were so many comforting words she wanted to say. There were so many times she comforted other people, why was it so hard to say the things that she wanted? Why was it so hard to let those words come freely from her mouth as a never ending supply of advice and encouragement?

'_Michiru … please don't cry.' _Haruka thought as she held the smaller girl tighter. _'It breaks my heart to see you cry.' _Haruka was sick with worry, in all honesty. Nothing had scared her more than to see her angel cry. Michiru had only done it once in her life and that was just before death. Something equally painful must have happened to her and that's what bothered the tall blonde. _'If anyone hurt you Michiru, they'll be wishing they never even met you.' _Haruka felt Michiru cling on to her as if it were her last breath and the blonde became overwhelmed with grief and anxiety on her friend's behalf.

"Gomen, Ruka."

**Don't know, don't know  
If you can hear me  
I will, I will  
Speak louder for you**

'_Ruka?' _The name spun madly within the blonde's thoughts as she waited for another response from Michiru. Ruka was an intimate way of addressing her. And while the word sounded ever so sweet coming from Michiru's mouth, Haruka knew that no implications were made by Michiru's intimacy.

**No more whispering  
Are you listening  
I am pleading  
I am pleading**

"Please don't mind me. I don't mean to bother you. I didn't think anyone would come to find me for quite some time." Michiru admitted as she began to calm herself down.

"You should have known that I would. A half hour without you is eternity to me." Haruka whispered into the other girl's ear.

Michiru's heart skipped a beat. _'Does she really mean that? Or is this another charm she uses on every girl?' _The aqua-haired girl didn't want to move, though she knew Haruka would think it odd if she tried to seek an embrace when she didn't need one. _'Haruka feels so warm. I've been held by a guy before but this doesn't come anywhere close.' _Michiru could feel how much distress she was causing the blonde by how tight she was being held. _'I should tell her I'm fine.' _

"Please, Haruka. I'm fine." Michiru tried to push the other girl off but found the blonde wouldn't budge.

"I'm not leaving." Haruka asserted without having Michiru to ask her to. "I would never leave you like this."

Another tear found its way down Michiru's cheek.

**I can't, I can't  
I can't, I can't take it  
This is the time to smile,  
I can't fake it**

Why did it seem that Haruka always seemed to know exactly what to say?

Michiru had to be strong. There was no question about it. Haruka was being her strength… for now… but she had to overcome this.

Flashes of her mother set into Michiru's mind. She had given everything to Haruka or least tried to. She even gave up the ring her mother had given her. That was something she would never do for anyone, anyone except Haruka. But now, she couldn't help but feel she severed the ties between her and her mother. Michiru would soon forget her. All too soon.

**Please allow me the chance now  
To break it down**

Michiru would have gone on forever lamenting the loss of her mother until Haruka squeezed her tightly, bringing her back to the real world. Michiru's gaze was averted to her window. The weather outside was gloomy much like how she felt now. Michiru sighed, if there was anything that she wanted to ask Haruka, it was what she wanted to ask now.

**It's not snow, It's rain coming down  
And the lights are cool,  
But they burn out  
And I can't pull off the cheer**

"Haruka, will you promise to do something for me?" Michiru pleaded to the point of tears but none would come out.

"Hai, for you, anything." Haruka submitted to Michiru's request.

"Don't ask me what happened. Pretend as if this never happened. Walk with me downstairs, without tears and a smile. Pretend with me for a couple hours." Michiru pulled out of Haruka's embrace to find a very distressed blonde. "Pretend with me." Michiru held out her hand to Haruka.

The blonde wanted to refuse to allow Michiru to play this game. She would only hurt herself in the end. Even though she wasn't one to talk, Haruka knew the best way to handle this would be to talk about it.

"Michiru--"

"Haruka, please." Michiru didn't want to hear the blonde's logic. She only wanted to have her way this one particular time. No questions, no objections.

There was a hint of pain in Michiru's eyes. One that Haruka didn't like to see. The blonde glanced over to the window. _'Do it Haruka. She needs you right now. Even if she doesn't tell you later… you'll at least have helped her to the best of your ability.' _Haruka would do anything to eliminate that pain. She would do anything to replace that pain with happiness… she would even take the pain from Michiru and make it hers.

Haruka sighed inwardly. How many times had she found herself in Michiru's shoes? How many times did she run away? How many times did she give up? How many times were necessary? How many? Could she deprive Michiru of running away?

**Not this year  
Not this year  
Not this year**

_'__No. I could never do that. We all need to run at some point.' _Haruka nodded as if making her decision; she took Michiru's hand into hers, grasping it tightly for reassurance.

**I can't, I can't**

If Michiru wanted to run then Haruka would run with her.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not This Year**

-for-

Ten no Kasou

_Chapter Four: Light in the Dark_

* * *

Over the past week, Haruka had some of the best times of her life. Ever since she found Michiru in tears, they simply ignored their problems and soaked in what was happy about the holidays. It was hard at first but spending every waking moment of their day with each other was the remedy to the darkness that shrouded their life.

"Tenoh?" Michiru stopped playing almost in an abrupt matter, causing her single fan to question her motive. She stepped off the stage, deciding to sit with Haruka. After a couple seconds of silence, Michiru leaned into her friend in a playful manner. "I don't think I've ever felt this free in my life."

Haruka had been tossing a lemon up and down when she too, abruptly what she had been doing. It wasn't something she had to think about because she had felt the same way. "Me too." The blonde rested her head on Michiru's. _'This feels so unbelievably right… I only wish that she felt the same way.' _Haruka's eyes had been wandering for quite some time before she noticed something out of the normal. _'Her ring…she never takes it off. Did she lose it?' _A significant amount of worry encompassed Haruka. Michiru's ring was one of her most prized possessions and she knew that Michiru would never, never take it off. The sight of seeing it off of her finger made her stomach churn.

"Someone is thinking entirely too loud." Michiru giggled when she noticed that Haruka seemed to be held captive by a thought of hers.

"Sorry." Haruka laughed at her stubborn daze. "I didn't know you were paying so much attention to me." _'Not that I don't like it.' _

"How could I not?"

"Because there are plenty of young men out in the park. Who knows. One of them might be Mr. Right." Haruka hated when she talked like that. It was almost like she was encouraging Michiru to do the one thing that she didn't want her to do.

'_She must not like me if she's suggesting that I should like one of those guys.' _Michiru took a deep breath to calm her thoughts. _'I shouldn't overreact. Haruka had never once told me that she had feelings for me. I'm going off assumptions.' _

"Ah, touchy subject, Michiru?"

"Not at all." Michiru lied. _'I mean, what's so touchy about loving you and constantly worrying about whether or not you love me back?' _"Have you spoken with any of your girlfriends this weekend?" Michiru teased.

"Well, I've talked to you, haven't I? So that counts as one. But you're the only important one, so…"

"There you go seducing your friends again." Michiru stood up, realizing she had to run some errands. "Did you still want to come with me?"

"Uh, I'm getting sick." Haruka faked a cough which provoked Michiru to roll her eyes. "Why don't you go on without me?"

"In other words, you have to meet up with a girl?"

"Ah, Michiru come on! Have more trust in me. I'm not meeting up with one, I'm meeting up with three." Haruka grinned as she waved to her friend. Watching her walk away was possibly one of the hardest things she had to experience. She spent every millisecond wishing that Michiru would turn around and run back to her. But, her fortune wasn't as she had hoped and she settled to do a little shopping of her own.

* * *

Haruka had been walking up and down the streets of Tokyo, trying to find a good gift for her love but none of them were perfect enough. The blonde sighed. There was no hope. At this rate, she would never find what she wanted. _'Hey, is that Setsuna?' _Haruka took off running around the corner and found something almost as hard as a solid wall hit her.

"Hey, what where you are--"

"I'm so sorry." Haruka helped the lady up. When she felt something familiar on the older lady's hand, her eyes glanced over to the hand she had been holding. "Where did you get that?"

"What? Oh this?" The lady flashed a ring that was identical to Michiru's. "I got it from some girl. She wanted to make a trade for it." The woman suddenly was uninterested in the ring.

"Aren't you Haruka Tenoh?"

"Hai, I am." Haruka was fixated on the ring, trying to come up with ways to get it from this woman. Even if it wasn't Michiru's, she still couldn't risk the chance. "Say, what would a beautiful woman like you want for such a ring?"

The lady, clearly impressed by the compliment, had no interest in selling the ring… but there might be something else…

"I want a kiss, for my newspaper." The lady was ecstatic about the proposal.

"What?" Haruka was confused. What kind of half-baked request was that? "I don't understand. I was thinking I could pay you some sort of sum…"

"No, I want a kiss to go on the front page of Tokyo News. And I want that kiss to be between you and me. I want intimate pictures as well." The woman rubbed her hands together, thinking of how much her boss was going to love her after she turned in her story.

"I'm sorry, I can't do that. I love someone else. And even if they don't love me in return, I still couldn't bring myself to do something as that." Haruka tried to think of other ways to compensate the woman but she was having a hard time.

"Well, if you don't want to. Then I suppose this ring will just have to go to my mother. She's always wanted one of these." The lady took it off her finger, inspecting it. "What do you know? It's been held in pretty good condition."

"Fine!" Haruka took the ring from the woman. "I'll do it." The blonde inspected the ring to make sure it was Michiru's and sure enough, her initials were imprinted on the inside. "When do we start?"

* * *

Haruka managed to trudge into the jewelers with a very, very, very, uninterested expression. She had spent the whole rest of her afternoon with a woman who nearly undressed her for a few pictures. Of course, she was exaggerating, but the woman made her do a few intimate poses that she was not comfortable doing.

"Hi, how can I help you today?"

The blonde focused her attention on the clerk. "Hi, my name is Haruka Tenoh. I was wondering if you could help me. I want to get this ring polished. If anything needs touching up, then please do so. But I'm also here to find out if the ring I ordered has arrived yet."

"No problem. Let me go check." The man came back. "No, I'm sorry. It hasn't come in yet. It's scheduled to come in the night before Christmas."

Haruka bit her lip. That was sure cutting it close to Christmas day but, she didn't have any other choice. "Okay, that's fine. How about I come back for both of these on that night? Please have these ready. These are important to me." Haruka felt reassured when the man smiled. "Thank you."

* * *


	5. Chapter 5

**Not This Year**

-for-

Ten no Kasou

_Chapter Five: Misunderstanding_

* * *

There had been countless times in Haruka's life that she had been lost, confused and simply out of place. But now, more than ever she couldn't seem to calm herself down. Christmas Eve had approached faster than she thought it would and, as a result, she had gained an immense amount of anxiety. _'I don't know what I'm going to tell her. I could tell her that I love her, in front of everyone. Or, I could write her a note. Maybe I could simply give her the gift and hope that she might return my feelings.' _Haruka willingly placed her hands within her coat pocket.

"Haruka…" The blonde came out of her thoughts, spinning around to the sweet voice of her closest friend. Her smile faded into the night when she realized that Michiru didn't call her in a positive way, she called her as if she were lost. "What's this?" Michiru held out a newspaper, with a picture of her and another woman on the front. "Star racer, new girlfriend?" Michiru read aloud.

"Uh, it's not what you think." Haruka was red in the face. How could she possibly talk her way out of this one? What were the chances that Michiru would actually read the news but worse, what were the chances that Michiru would read the paper on the day her story was to debut. "Listen… I can… explain." Haruka noticed that Michiru was no longer as joyful as she normally was, instead Michiru seemed to be hurt by the picture.

"You didn't want to spend time with me, really?" Michiru questioned the blonde. Haruka was about to stop her from saying anymore but Michiru threw her a glare. "You could have simply said that. I don't know you were to the point of making excuses for yourself… I'm sure I would have understood." Michiru handed the paper to her friend, a bit distant in behavior. "It's not like you don't have an army of girls waiting at your beck and call." Michiru walked away from Haruka, not wanting to face the girl that she had deep feelings for. _'I hate this. Why do I care so much? She is not mine! And yet I want to shed tears at the sight of her with another woman.' _Michiru recalled the intimate images, flooding her mind.

"Michiru, can I please explain what happened?"

"I don't need your explanations. This has nothing to do with me. You are free to date who you want."

'_Date? Why is she so hurt by this stupid picture? Baka, Haruka!' _"I'm not making any explanations! I'm trying to tell you the truth!" Haruka tried to grab hold of Michiru but was surprised when the other girl pushed her back unexpectedly.

"Save it for your new girlfriend." Michiru replied coldly as she walked out of the park to head home.

Haruka kicked a can by her foot. She had to think. How could she give Michiru her present now? There was no chance in hell Michiru would give her moment out of her day, not since she was full of anger.

* * *

"Excuse me, do you have a rose?" Haruka asked as she walked into a flower shop. 

"Ah, a rose? What on earth would you want a rose for?" The clerk asked Haruka with concern. "Do you know what a rose means? It carries several meanings." Haruka bit her tongue. She wanted to tell the man that she simply didn't have time to be listening to his rubbish. There wasn't much time left in the night. Haruka glanced at her watched and relieved a sigh. She might not have had time but, she had to choose the right rose. "Excellent! You will stay. Okay, let me grab some roses." The man brought back five colored roses, each extremely different in their own way. "What sort of rose are you trying to give?"

Haruka blushed at the thought of Michiru. "I think I like someone." Haruka admitted hoping that her response would give him enough information to choose the right rose for her.

"Well, a white rose means: Purity, Innocence, Silence, Secrecy, Reverence, Humility, Youthfulness, I am worthy of you, Heavenly." The man looked up at her with a questioning look. "Any of those?"

"Not exactly." Haruka replied, sheepishly. _'Although she is heavenly and innocence…' _"How about one that says--"

"A burgundy rose means: Unconscious beauty."

"What?" Haruka cut back, bewildered by the statement. "I'm not sure--"

"Not right? A pink rose? It means Appreciation, "Thank you", Grace, Perfect Happiness, Admiration, Gentleness, Please Believe Me." He asked again. Then he pulled a few more colored roses from a drawer, sensing Haruka was going to be really picky.

"Not quite. I just need one that would express how I--"

"How about a coral rose? It means desire!" The man almost growled at the thought of desire. This, of course, merited another wild expression from his blonde customer. "Okay, okay. How about a black one? It represents DEATH." The man made a signal with his hand that was supposed to indicate an ominous feeling.

"STOP!" Haruka finally yelled. She couldn't stand to be cut off one more time. This guy was a nut. Who would give a death rose on Christmas? "I only need one that says I love you."

"Oh?" The man asked, a bit disappointed. "You should have said that before. What kind of love is it?"

"Do you have something that describes a multiple year friendship, with one of the friends developing deep feelings of love for another, then the other friend gets mad because the friend gets with a girl who she doesn't like but ends up kissing her just to get a ring back?" Haruka laughed at her stupidity. _'Yeah, that's a flower that exists.' _"Oops, sorry. I've went off for a moment. How about a rose that means love from a friendship?"

"You know … what…" The man walked back into the cooler and pulled out a special rose. "Here." He handed Haruka a yellow rose with a red tip. "This means falling in love. I'm sure you'll be content with it."

Haruka examined the rose for a few moments before she decided it wasn't enough. She had to get more roses, the one rose looked too lonely to give to Michiru all by itself. "Can I get a dozen red roses, thornless, please."

"OH MY!?! Do you know what thornless means?"

"Uh, not entirely." Haruka replied. She was starting to get used to this man's odd behavior.

"It means love at first sight. Is that what you mean to tell her?"

"Well--"

"Because, if she finds out what that means, then you'll have to deal with the consequences of her knowing what the rose means."

"I don't think she's going to know." Haruka stated firmly. "Michiru never expressed a whole lot of interest about roses. She might like them but surely, she doesn't know about them." The blonde glanced at her watch again. "Here. Do you know what this is?" Haruka laughed as the man's eyes got wide. "That should pay for a whole shop of roses. Thanks for your help!"

"Hai!"

* * *

Knots were forming in Haruka's stomach. All the way home she couldn't stop thinking of the aqua-haired girl. It had taken her all night to come up with a game plan. Honestly though, for as brilliant as she was, she couldn't come up with anything extravagant. In fact, it was simple. 

All she needed to do was gather enough courage to make two confessions tonight. Not just one. She couldn't forget that Michiru had questioned her many times as to why she was always sad; Haruka would never allow the aqua-haired girl to go without the truth, thus she had to come clean tonight.

Haruka managed to escape everyone in the house as she made her entrance. It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to them or that she was trying to be rude but she couldn't help the fact that she simply didn't have the time nor thought to spare. She was sure they would question her as to why she had a bundle of roses and the only excuse she could come up with is that someone gave them to her for free. _'Yeah, right.' _Haruka disappeared upstairs on the second floor, away from the other girls. _'I have to do this.' _Haruka glared at the knob to Michiru's as if it were supposed to turned itself. _'Maybe I'm not ready?' _The blonde shook her head with determination. _'No, tonight is the night.' _With one dramatic blow to the door, Haruka threw herself inside of the room. Before she could come up with a good excuse, she realized that no one was in Michiru's room. Haruka sighed. _'There goes my plan. I'm not genius enough to come up with another one.' _The blonde, in defeat, set the red roses on Michiru's bed along with a tiny box. She traced her fingers along the box, as if she were going to miss it for some reason, and then she helped herself to Michiru's bed. _'Well, I might as well as wait here for her… though it is getting pretty late, I wonder what's taking her?' _Haruka didn't mind. She would simply rest here for a moment… or two.

* * *

Michiru made her way through a strangely quiet house. It had taken her the rest of the evening up until close to midnight for her anger to be quelled. She felt terrible that she left Haruka in such a hurry. There was nothing that the blonde had done particularly wrong, except to accidentally hurt her feelings. But even then, Haruka was allowed to date whoever she wanted; it was out of Michiru's power to try and tell her how to live her life. _'So then why did I act as if Haruka had committed a terrible act?' _Michiru hadn't seen Haruka's car outside which caused a great deal of worry within her but she would never act upon it so rashly. First, she had to get to her room. 

'_It's darker than I left it.' _Michiru opened the door quietly and was about to turn on the lights when she noticed a figure had been laying on the right side of her bed. Michiru could tell immediately that the body belonged to Haruka: it was unmistakable. _'I wonder what she's doing here?' _Michiru placed her things on the floor and walked over to the bed. _'What's that--?' _Michiru thought as she noticed Haruka had been holding on tight to a large set of roses. _'I shouldn't wake her.' _

Michiru decided to find out what Haruka had been interested in protecting by prying the roses from her hand. _'Red roses! And…' _Michiru picked out a single yellow rose, tipped in red, from the middle. _'Nani? Does this mean 'falling in love'? She must have received them from her girlfriend.' _Michiru was about to pull away, feeling some of the anger from before return, when she noticed two small boxes that Haruka had been protecting with determination. Michiru decided to go for the smaller one.

"Michiru?" A soft murmur came from the blonde that startled Michiru enough to make her jump. "You're late." Haruka mentioned as she took a look at the clock. "Later than I thought you would be anyways." The blonde sat up, reluctantly. She was extremely tired.

Michiru felt stupid for trying to open something that was clearly Haruka's to begin with. _'I hope she isn't too mad.' _"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to wake you--"

"No." Haruka placed a finger on Michiru's lips. "There's no need to apologize." Haruka smiled with encouragement. "I needed to talk to you, that's why I'm here." Haruka felt like the butterflies in her stomach had multiplied by a million. "There's a few things I need to clear up with you. One, I didn't do as the newspaper suggested." Michiru was about to apologize for her accusations earlier but was only gently hushed. "I was simply trying to get back something that I believe belongs to you." Haruka handed the smaller box to Michiru. "Open it."

The aqua-haired girl wasted no time in opening it. "Haruka--" Michiru felt tears come to her eyes. "I thought I had lost this forever. Where did you get it?"

"From the lady in the newspaper. She told me you traded it for something. For what, I can't quite figure out. How could you trade something so important?"

Michiru's eyes softened at the memory of her mother. "I, well…" The smaller girl stood and walked over to a bag. She pulled out a trinket and box. "Here." Michiru handed Haruka the trinket first.

"Michiru? Is this what I saw in the shop?" Haruka felt a wave of sadness burn her happiness away.

"Hai, it was the last snow globe. And, the way you were looking at it, Haruka… I couldn't let it out of my sight. I knew it was something you treasured from the moment you set eyes on it." Michiru watched as the blonde shook it gently. "It was the last one and the lady I had traded my ring to, wouldn't sell it or trade it for anything less than ring my mother gave me." Michiru replied with a hint of sadness.

"Why would you do something like that?" Haruka asked, concerned. "That ring is the last thing your mother gave you."

"Because… because I know that this snow globe reminded you of your family. I can't quite figure you out Haruka but if you would just give me the chance… I could be a good friend."

Haruka's heart split in two at Michiru's tone. "You are always a good friend, regardless Michiru." The blonde's eyes averted back to the globe. "It's a long story."

"Hai, it's okay. You don't have to tell me. I know you get sad when you tell it." Michiru was about to get up when she felt Haruka pull her back down. "Haruka, it's-"

"Shh." Haruka placed a finger on Michiru's lips again. She was beginning to like every moment she could touch Michiru. "Michiru, my mother died before Christmas one year. And, shortly after death, I thought that it would be best to get her a snow globe for Christmas. Unfortunately, my father didn't think it was appropriate to do so…" Haruka paused, feeling tears fall down her cheek. "You see, after that Christmas, every Christmas was filled with sadness and despair. My father tended to isolate himself, refuse to see family and absolutely refuse to have Christmas. It was his way of mourning… up until I was teenager." Michiru remained silent, knowing that her friend needed an ear, not a response. She gently squeezed Haruka's hand, feeling a spark of desire light within her. "Then my father ran away." Haruka laughed. "He simply ran away. He left me in a hospital to fend for myself. No letters, no phone call, nothing." Haruka palmed the snow globe in her hand, remembering as much of her mother as she could. "I don't care so much that he ran away. But, every time I see a snow globe and every time December rolls along, I simply can't be happy."

"Your mother was to you, what mine was to me?" Michiru asked, knowing that she had told Haruka about her late mother, some time ago.

"Hai. They were very much alike." Haruka admitted. The blonde raised her eyes to the smaller girl's and smiled. "It's Christmas."

Michiru, surprised at the change of subject, checked the clock. Sure enough it was 12:01 A.M. "Haruka, I'm sorry-"

"Don't be. I'm glad I told you about all of this because I think we're both in the same position. I have my mother's snow globe, you, your mother's ring. Now that we have their memories so fresh in our mind, I think we should put our past behind us." Haruka offered both of her hands to Michiru, who only stared at them, questioningly.

"That sounds like something I would love doing, so long as it's with you." Michiru took Haruka's hands into her own and the two shared a long, intense moment before both of them confessed:

"I have something to tell you!"

Michiru and Haruka laughed at each other. "Ah, my little mermaid, why don't you go first?" Michiru shook her head. "Okay… then I guess… I shall go first." Haruka looked over at the clock, thankful that it was midnight. "Since it's already Christmas, it will be perfectly acceptable if I give you your present."

"I thought that --"

"Shh!"

"Hey! When did you start cutting me off!? You've been doing that--"

"Shh!" Haruka motioned with her finger in a playful manner. "I learned it from the man who told me that the roses I gave you meant that I loved you." The blonde felt as if she had said it much too fast, especially since Michiru stared blankly at her. _'Shimatta! I knew she didn't return my feelings.' _Michiru's face softened after a couple moments and she giggled. _'What? Is she laughing at me because I am ridiculous?' _Haruka pouted for a minute as she folded her arms across her chest. "I didn't think it was --" Before Haruka could finish her sentence or thought, she felt a set of soft, gentle, lips press against her own. It wasn't long before Haruka invited Michiru into her arms, securing her in a warm embrace.

Michiru pulled away with a smile so wide, she couldn't help but laugh at herself. "Gomen, Haruka. I couldn't help myself… you see… before I tried to kiss you, I meant to say that I love you too." Michiru blushed and Haruka grinned in response.

"My little mermaid, you can always say I love you with a kiss. Or … even a … back massage." Michiru pinched Haruka for trying to ruin the romantic mood. "Okay, okay! How about this?" Haruka handed her second box to Michiru, only to find that she had received one as well.

"Haruka, it's beautiful!"

"Hai! I could say the same about yours!" Both of them seemed to be dazzled at the beautiful rings they both received. Finally, Haruka looked at the clock once more. "Michiru…" The blonde growled, feeling some of that pent up desire kick in. "We still have a long ways to go before everyone gets up!"

"Oh… is that so…?" Michiru purred. "It seems as though you can read my mind!" Michiru was about to wrap her arms around Haruka's neck when she faked it and fell into the bed. "I am tired too! Good suggestion, we should get some sleep before the others wake up."

Haruka groaned as she turned her back to Michiru. "You're a bad mind reader…" Michiru giggled as she returned to her blonde lover and pulled her viciously under the covers.

Never had Haruka or Michiru had such a wonderful Christmas day…

* * *

THE END

* * *

AN: Happy holidays, everyone.


End file.
